BLOCK HIM

You were: Ghosted. Cheated on. Unappreciated. Mistreated. Taken advantage of. And we’re not putting up with it anymore.

Alexa, play “These Boys Ain’t Shit” by SAYGRACE.

Half-kidding. Let’s not go in with a “kill all men” mentality. But you’re here because, well, that was your reality, as it is for so many women out there. Relationships are full of ups and downs. The happiness, the pain, the suffering, the good and the bad that we put ourselves through to decide whether or not these relationships work is exhausting. It makes us vulnerable. It makes us confused. It makes us doubt ourselves. It makes us insecure. It makes us weak. But it makes us strong. It makes us confident. It makes us remember the bad bitch that we actually are and that nothing that happens to us defines us, only how we overcome our obstacles and deal with the hand that we’ve been dealt. THAT’S what defines us. Not some guy or what they chose to put us through.

It’s easy to place blame on ourselves. You can point all your fingers at yourself and say you weren’t giving him enough attention, you didn’t hang out with his friends enough, you weren’t putting out enough, you weren’t doing this and you weren’t doing that. What about what you were doing? What did you bring to the table? Really ask yourself before you place blame on yourself. Did you do everything you could to be your most authentic self during your relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it? If not, then the relationship wasn’t for you because it wasn’t clicking; it happens. If you were, then the relationship still wasn’t for you because it wasn’t good enough for him; there’s no reason to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

It’s difficult to recognize these negative actions, especially when it’s a S/O, a close friend (especially a FWB), or someone you might have a little crush on. You get lost in the sauce, for lack of a better term. You’d rather be treated this way — without recognizing what’s happening sometimes — than lose them. It’s understandable. We’ve all been there before. But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, well, I got bad news for you. A mistake made more than once is a choice, not an accident.

If you’ve been treated poorly by any guy (or a person of the desired sex), BLOCK THEM. Immediately, no questions asked. He knows. He knows what he did. He knows it hurt you. And guess what? He doesn’t care. If he did, then he wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Don’t assume that guys don’t know what they’re doing, because they always do. Remember: if he wanted to, he would.

I used to hate the “blocking method” because it seemed like an easy way out. For some reason, it seemed more toxic. Cutting people out of your life with the click of a button seemed reckless and immature. But the more I was told this was a mentality you should have and the more I was personally experiencing this negative energy, it was the only way out. I’ve been in situations where I’ve given guys more than one chance to prove themselves to me. I’ve allowed them to walk all over me, to treat me poorly, control me, my thoughts, and my emotions. All for what cost? Losing them? So? And it wasn’t worth it. If it was meant to be, it will be. And sadly, it took more than one time to realize that I was losing my sense of self.

I deserve better. You deserve better. Nobody needs that toxic, negative energy in their life. You need to recognize the red flags. You need to be aware of the situation. Don’t get lost and don’t make false realities for yourself. It’s easier said than done. But it’s not impossible to do. Of course, it takes a few times to recognize what you’re looking for and figure out ways to get out of the situation. It took me more than a few times to recognize what I was worth and realize what I deserve. But now I know. And the second I see a red flag, it’s a dealbreaker. Don’t give anyone the time of day unless they prove themselves over and over again.

When I started blocking those who treated me poorly and brought toxic energy to me, I felt such a sense of relief. They were no longer on my feed and I was no longer on theirs. There was no reason for us to interact. They didn’t need to see what I was doing, at least not in the way that I wanted them to. And I couldn’t care less about what they were doing. They were no longer part of my daily social media consumption, constantly reminding me of them and what I thought we had. They were gone. Blocked.

You are a bad bitch and you don’t need anyone to remind you. Realize what you deserve. Be confident. Be bold. Be unapologetically you. And don’t settle for less. Ever.

xoxo -C