Is Privacy Still A Thing?

In today’s society with social media and 24/7 communication, privacy might be a thing of the past. However, there is always a happy medium when it comes to your social and private life.

I’ve always been an open book and wore my heart on my sleeve since I was young. I answered the most direct questions with such detail and when vague questions were asked, I overshared. When social media came around, I posted everything that was anything. I wrote about school and academics, feelings and emotions, was passive-aggressive and weirdly emo (but who wasn’t in the Tumblr-era?) and it started gaining attention from my peers. I remember I would retweet and comment constantly from this “Poems Porn” Twitter account (@PoemPorns) that posted really sappy poems that appealed to sad people and hopeless romantics. A boy at school came up to me the next day and asked me if I was alright because I was putting out some less-than-happy vibes onto his timeline, for which I didn’t understand why it bothered him so much. He and his friends kept commenting on it every time I would retweet from the account to the point where it started to bother me. But it took all that for me to realize that what I put online, as minimal or noticeable as it can be, people are always watching.

Here’s a candid pic of me on phone at a Gala

In 2020, people post everything. It’s very easy to find out who’s doing what where with who. With Instagram and Snapchat, the unspoken rule is that “the camera eats first,” so it’s impossible not to post what you’re doing at all times. Twitter is the new Facebook where you tweet every thought that pops into your head (no? just me?). Facebook and LinkedIn is where you tell the world how successful you are (or at least pretending to be) to your family, friends, and random network connections you met that one time. And if you’re not posting…do you not care about your public image? Or are you dead? One time I went camping for five days in the Middle-Of-Nowhere, Wisconsin and didn’t tell any of my friends. When I finally got service after my trip, my friends were worried about me and genuinely thought something happened to me because I hadn’t posted anything on my social media. But to be fair, I think I post more than the average Joe so it was more noticeable that I was missing, but still; you get the idea.

So in the age of online communication, is it possible to keep things to yourself while still having a heavy social media presence?

That is the question. But it’s a bit of a catch-22. If you are super private but don’t have much of a social media presence, you’re a weirdo/too old/or possibly a catfish. If you have too much of a social media presence, you’re self-centered/an attention-whore/or vainly public. Besides the amount you post, the type of content you put out there also says a lot about your character. So how do you find a balance? And a healthy one, at that? Is there?

It’s no secret that social media can be addicting. Especially in 2020 when everything is shut down and life has been put on hold for the unforeseeable future; our daily entertainment is watching other people’s lives on social media. I, for one, had a considerable amount of screen time added to my daily activity which is not easy on the eyes or my mental health. And trying to start my social media marketing brand didn’t help!

A healthy medium would be posting enough for people to see what your hobbies are, where you travel and what you do, your social and professional life, and then most importantly, a glimpse at your personal life. That sounds like a lot to post but it’s all in moderation. There is a healthy balance of putting a lot of information about yourself that’s general knowledge to the public (where you go to school, what you do for work, if you have pets or travel, enjoy reading or watching stand-up comedy, etc) and not posting about the fight you had with your mom or the fact that you got laid off that’s considered private information and the less glamorous side or your life, among other things. For example, I probably send out 20+ tweets a day, post on both of my private Snapchat stories and my public Snapchat and Instagram stories every day. But that doesn’t mean that anybody online knows exactly what I do or where I am at all times. My followers don’t know anything about the struggles in my friendships or relationships, or the inner-battles I fight with myself daily. I’m vague in my posts, I express what I want others to portray of me, yet still have a very secretive life that only a few know about. I think that’s a good balance because that’s what works for me.

At the end of the day, your social media is your social media and you can do what you want; that goes for anything in life, not just your platforms. It’s not important what others say as long as your platform accurately represents you and how you want to be seen. But also remember that no matter what, you are being looked at and you are being judged for what you do or do not post. Privacy is very important in such an exposed society. Keep things to yourself but don’t be such a closed book. Nobody likes surprises that much.

Some tips before posting:

• Save the post to drafts & come back later (especially if it’s in the heat of the moment).
• Keep your account private or have two accounts — one being professional and one being anonymous (but remember, they can always be traced back to you if they try hard enough).
• Think about what platform is best for the message you’re sending. There’s a right and wrong place and time to do and say anything.

Some tips for social media time management:

• Set app limits in your settings (settings > screen time > app limits > add limit).
• Set limits within apps; TikTok has a “Digital Wellbeing” setting that requires a passcode to be entered if you wanted to extend your app usage time.
• Give yourself an allotted period of time every day to be on your phone/scrolling through media (~1 hour/day) or a 5-minute phone break every hour during the workday.
• Limit social media at night before bed.

Stay happy and healthy! And always remember, your social media and online presence is a representation of you and what you embody. Be aware of your audience, the content you post, and the platform you are using to be sure you are only putting up what you want others to see. Comment below if you have other tips and tricks for social media and online health! :)

xoxo -C