Learning Love Languages

Who knew love could have a language barrier?

Learning a person’s love language is difficult, especially if it’s different than your own. The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, find out what your love language is and see how accurate it may be. It can very much be like speaking another language if you can’t understand what your person needs in order to love and feel love, as cheesy as it may sound.

Words of Affirmation

It’s not often that people are able to express how they feel through communication alone. Although it might not seem like enough all the time, because words are just words at the end of the day, it’s the best way for them to truly show how they feel. I have a personal bias towards this love language because this is the way I communicate my feelings toward someone. I will tell you how I feel at all times, and especially tell you how much or why I love you. And if I don’t…well, good luck Charlie.

Acts of Service

Those who are busy all the time might not be able to express love in certain ways, however, doing the dishes or running their errands for them might show them how affectionate you are. Acts of service might seem like a chore, but at the end of the day, by doing things they can’t always do for themselves and doing it for them will bring them the most happiness.

Receiving Gifts

People may equate this to being materialistic, however, it can be quite the opposite. Receiving gifts and gift giving is a natural part of any relationship. Something as small as picking up flowers from the store, or a coffee during a busy work day, can be an expression of someone’s love and affection. However, if giving a diamond tennis bracelet is the way someone chooses to express their love, how can you say no?

Quality Time

It’s obvious that spending time with someone will grow your love for one another. Whether it’s staying in and watching a movie, working next to each other while you WFH or trying a new restaurant together, quality time is what you make of it. As long as you’re doing things together, it makes the person happy and shows you enjoy spending time with them, even if it’s doing a mundane task like grocery shopping or getting the car washed.

Physical Touch

Xoxo — it’s as simple as that. Sometimes all a person needs is to feel close to you by physically being close to you, whether that’s hand holding, giving hugs and forehead kisses (who would want that! jk lol).

Now that you have a better understanding of what the love languages are, it’s important to recognize what your person needs to feel love so you can cater to their needs, as they will do the same for you. It’s not always that two people will have the same love language, which is why it’s so important to understand how and why they express themselves.

It’s easy to think that, for example, if your love language is words of affirmation by telling them how much you love them and offering them praise to think that because they aren’t always doing the same in return that they don’t feel the same way. While you might be more vocal about your love, they may return the feeling by encouraging you to spend more time with them. Although, if what you need is more vocalization on how they feel for you the way you do to them, that’s where you need to communicate what you require from them (however, they should probably get the hint that it’s what you need, rather you telling them). At the end of the day, if you both express your love in a way that’s suitable for you, and you’re both feeling the love, that’s all that matters. And in the off chance where you require a little more of one love language to feel secure, speak up rather than bottling it up. After all, language requires heavy communication, either through your words or action. You both have the same goal: to love one another.

For more information on the five love languages, check out “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. I’ve never read it but maybe I should…so let me know if you do.

xoxo

-C